You might be the parent who spends the most time with the kids. You bathe them, feed them, play with them, and put them to bed or you might be the parent who unfortunately due to work and other commitments doesn’t get as much time as you’d want with your kids. This could result in your child being overly attached to one parent. This will make it difficult for both parents. Why? Well, on one hand, you’ve got the parent who is overwhelmed with a child who needs their constant attention and on the other hand, there’s the parent who may be feeling a little left out and maybe even slightly jealous as they pine for the attention of your child. If your child is overly attached to one parent more than the other, here are some tips.
1) Try to enjoy the time.
If you are the stay-at-home parent, your child might crave the attention of your working partner, and the minute they come home they seem to totally forget about the 8 hours you’ve just spent with them. Try not to take it personally. Use this time to have some ‘you’ time whether that means catching up with errands or having a relaxing bath.
2) Don’t make it about you.
By making it about you and not your child, you are taking it personally. The excitement your child gets when seeing your partner doesn’t mean they love you any less.
3) Don’t give in all the time
If you are the parent your child constantly wants, it’s okay to say no sometimes. You need to have time for yourself and if your partner is able to do what is needed then let them. If your child is becoming possessive over you and not letting your partner sit next to you or hug you then make sure to put a stop to this behaviour. If the requests of your child seem unreasonable then say no!
4) Both parents need to parent!
Having one of you, be the fun parent while the other is the strict parent is a recipe for disaster. Your child will want to hang out with the fun parent and look to them when they want a ‘yes’ answer. As parents, tasks need to be divided as evenly as possible. This means that both of you bathe the children, both of you feed them and both of you say when it’s time for bedtime. When we say both of you, we don’t mean at the same time but we mean both of you play a part in these roles throughout the day/week. A child that is overly attached to one parent more than the other usually indicates that something is missing and once this is solved, the problem should diminish.
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