You are having a stressful day and your kids have decided to be on their worst behaviour. Does this sound familiar? You will have days like this as a parent and your children will ask to do things they know they aren’t allowed or will try to do something that is unsafe, in that moment you might want to scream ‘no!’ at them, and then they will probably hit you with the classic question ‘why?’. Children are curious and want to know the reasoning behind them not being allowed to do something and that is why we have compiled a list of phrases that can be used as an alternative to saying no.
1) You know better than to do that.
This is a good one to use when your children ask you some ridiculous question that obviously puts their safety at risk or they have already asked you the question multiple times and you’ve had to say no multiple times already. This statement will make them feel mature and more responsible.
2) Let’s stop and think about this.
Give your child some time to consider why they shouldn’t be doing what they are doing. Even asking them, why their actions are wrong or what consequences will follow their actions, gives them the opportunity to think and come up with a logical answer themselves. This will help in the future plus it’s a good phrase to use when children are getting upset or angry as you are giving them some cooling-off time to stop and think.
3) We don’t have time for that right now. Maybe we can do it later.
This is a good one to use when you are in a rush and your child wants to do something that will take some time. Giving them the opportunity to do it later will diffuse the situation but do stick to your word as otherwise, you’ll soon lose your child’s trust.
4) We can’t stay longer. We have talked about this.
Does your child struggle with leaving places such as a family member’s house or the park? Obviously, they are having a fun time and they don’t want the fun to stop but it’s time to go. What do you do? If this happens often when leaving a fun area, try explaining to your child that you will have to leave after a certain amount of time as you need to cook dinner for example before you get to the place. This way your child is prepared. If tears and tantrums do erupt when you are leaving remind them that you talked about this and that you can come back to the park or grandma’s place another day.
Try to avoid always just saying ‘no’. By providing reasoning and also putting the decision in your child’s hands you will raise them to question their behaviour and to think before they act.
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